a friendly letter to an amazing friend...

Hi Achiles... watsup????i haven't heard anything from you in quite awhile... anyways, im just very eager to finally see u make it big in the hip hop world, for a second there i really doubted u r gonna make it as a rapper... i thought for so many times that it was just a front that u were just being dishonest to the entire group about ur future career... well, i guess it was a fair call tho, for me to think of u as a defamer, dont ya think???  b/c i have reasons to do so... i can give a whole list of ur exaggerated yet hilariously stupid stories, one of which  is u told us that u were gonna make a hit record in Houston again n again n again... but u never did go to Houston, hack i never even heard of u in the satellite radio *till now btw*... anyways, carry on, from an appearance point of view ur personal style is nothing like those sleek type of rappers ex/ Diddy, Jay-Z, Will I Am etc.. n interestingly it is also not mirrored the style of the gangsta rappers like 50-cents, Busta Rhyme, or TI (on the mild side)... not to tear u down or anything but i would love to give u some advices for free, i think, u r really in needs to hire a personal stylist... y??? well to start off, u wear braces... if u have TV which im sure an up n coming rapper, who works in his parents catering business for his day job, has one of its since it's a necessity item for most ppl n Hey!!! i mean please family catering business is a very fancy n desirable job.. u must have good paycheck.. back to the advice, yeah if u paid a slight attention to those rappers style, im sure u saw it, none of them wears braces.... secondly, u look really dorky, tho i heard stories about ur dark past, but hardly enough i couldnt take any those stories seriously it sounds soo hhhhhhmmmmmmm fake.... however, if those stories were true, then u have my sympathy... lastly, those rappers, tho i havent met any in person nor i've ever held any conversations w/ them, they look well very sincere... they dont act like a loser hypocrite, say one thing n do a completely different thing. U, on the other hand, have a very intriguing values that in times could b contradicting to ur behavior. well i think, i do need to give an example b/c someone as smart as u are always need some sort of supporting arguments for every claims that i made thank Jesus im such a big fan tho i have no idea who the hell u are.. ok! for example, U said u r a newly born Christian *praise the Lord*, n u love Jesus with all of ur heart n soul b/c He apparently has helped u to find the light w/i in urself so that u could move on from that "dark side" of urs.. However, what fascinate me is when u open ur mouth, it doesnt scream a christian at all.. well actually it doesnt scream any religions but moronity... but that's ok tho i never expect some1 like u to speak in the name of intelligence what so ever... so it's all good :). some other example is: still in Jesus n Christianity matter actually, U always bragged how Jesus has saved u from ur dark past but the next day u blame Him for giving u a hard time. How amazing was that???? in case u dont know Achiles, as a Christian, we (exclude u off course) live by faith n to exercise our faith God allows us to face a lot of obstacles that suppose to draw us closer to Him so that we can b a better Christian; nevertheless, many self proclaim Christians (including ur self) find it as God's way to weaken ur faith which is less than a foolish approach. but than again, i never wish to hear anything sincere from u at all... so this is also good :). i think u need 1 more, as u have said it b4 to many others, u are a genius like literary, u said u r some1 who strongly endows in intellectual superiority!!! OMG how cool is it to b u??? i so envy u... cus i've been studying a lot just to get an A on my classes... although i found it very ridiculous to know that some1 with such a high IQ, as u r, only made a 2 point something GPA cumulative.. my advice is, Achiles please don't use a Big word (genius) that u have no idea of what it means! however, i know in ur case the University of Arkansas had to commit a mistake in calculating ur GPA. too bad it only happens to u, one of the SMARTEST ppl i know. u should sue the university once u get real famous. but hey! isn't God wonderful to u??? some one w/ a whopping 2. GPA could have a job????? it's unbelievably insane!!! u know, normally when i think about a 2. GPA person, i always think that he/she is either a failure or they r just worthless. n u have proven me otherwise!!!! good job!!!! u have proven that u are a worthless failure w/ a filthy mouth that tells lies.. what a flattering impression u got on me.. well anyhow, as i mentioned b4, this blog is not made to personally n intellectually attack u in any sort of ways. b/c both intellectually n personally; i am just simply better than u are so i am not gonna hit you under the belt on these situations. this is simply just a friendly, envious but yet empowering blog of a potentially huge fan. I saw those pics on FB, boy they looked hot... u w/ all of that 1 dollar bills... look so great, u n that George Washington's bill are like match made in heaven.  im sure a lot of ppl will b so jealous of u. since u know, it's an easy epiphany for me, who knows u a little bit, to think that after all u only worth that much  , a dollar :) hhhmmm nice. well i guess, i have covered anything that needed to b discussed  so the last point, i feel like i have to mention here is as a wise man says money can't by class. the last bold sentence there completely divined u as person.n ohhh my bad?? please, i beg u, put that HIGH IQ of urs in a good use for once ok! money in general can't buy class; so please don't think that 1 US dollar can buy u anything other than a piece of gum. ok then!!!! i hope u have a great life cus u know, u gotta think positive!!! that 1 dollar still has a time value of money so if u put it in some interest bearing account in 100 years that dollar of urs can grow close to 1.2 million dollars if u assume 15% interest rate. so keep up the good work!!!!!

STOP!!!!!!!

lately i've been bugged by so many things... n so many things live so close by... n those many things bugged me like nuts... ok to start of, both of these men are my neighbors... n let's start from the E guy, he is not even close the the one i'll talk about l8er in so many ways he is better... but i just want him to know that NO i don't wanna go washing cars on a nice sunny day, n NO i dont wanna get drunk w/ him, n also NO i don't know his friends n i don't care to know.. i have friends of my own...thank you... n the worse part the A guy... mannn he is annoying... at 1st i was so welcomed n cooled about everything cus in my mind i just wanted to b nice 2 my neighbor... but then after that he started calling me every morning , get it, every morning (well not every single morning but when he calls it's around 1 or 2 am) WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WILL TRY TO BOTHER ME AROUND THAT TIME?????? whoever he is, he's on my not to b friends w/ list right on... due to several personal reasons of my own.. but i dont mind to list it here... ok here we go: 1) i might not sleep n most of the time im not asleep during that time b/c honestly i cant sleep, HOWEVER, I DONT NEED ANYBODY TO COME N COMFORT ME IN ANY SORT OF WAYS UNLESS U R MY FAMILY N CLEARLY BOY U R NOT IT!!!! 2) mayb it's just me but who cares it's all about me, anyways i am under the impression that whoever called me around that time unless it's so important that he/she cannot contain the news until the sun raises than that person do not have a respect for me n since u do not respect me y would u think i would respect u??? sucker... 3) u hv a freaking girl friend, though i don't have any feelings for u (even when im crazy im 200% sure u r still not my type), y dont u take care of her??? she broke ur window n when u guys fought i seriously wanna slap both of u w/ my plat form shoes in the face b/c it's freaking laud!!! n annoying!!!! n pls i saw U pushed her, n yelled at her n also i heard she said u had slapped her b4, so dont act nice u sloppy abusive bitch!!! nxt time u guys i fight i volunteer to b the 1st one to call the po po for u guys... n 4) last but not least, idk if u realized this, but im a south east asia woman we dont talk about personal level shit to random ppl... n u know i was so uncomfortable hearing u told me about u r bro having sex when he's 13 n u when 17... i mean pls to much dirt that im not interested.. if u wanna make me interested here are my other lists of conversation's topics that u could use earlier: a) start to subscribe on new york times or wall street journal... cus i love business n politics... it might sound boring to u but it rather much appealing for me than ur worthless topic about sex.. b) im also into most pop cultures like movies, hot men, n hot new songs... so mayb itunes, youtube, n a little google search would help ya a lot.. c) since u dont know any of my friends, this wouldnt help u but who cares??? none.. anyways i love to gossip about ppl in general it's so juicy... i don't really care whether it's true or trash... if im enjoying it than good if not than next... 

lastly, i think both of these men should know a couple important facts about me... well to bgin w/ i am the most careless person u hv ever met in ur life, but when i bcome ur friends i'll b the most caring person u'll know exist in this surface till then i will never answer ur phone calls, open the door (i know u were knocking, cus i can see but i just chose not to open the door for u), i will never reply to any type of msg (cus as i said my cell ph is broken..not..haha), n untill u shape ur attitudes to bcome more polish gentleman (for the A guy) than i will never come into close contact w/ u n i'll keep at least 20 ft distance from u cus i heard that disgusting stupid topic starter disease is contagious until it is proven otherwise i will keep the distance ok.. the other important fact is i am bitchy n if u don't like it than leave me alone, i hope u don't like it so i have the space aka my sanctuary that i want to have in my apt. w/o ur disturbance... hhhhmmmm anyways E u r still my friend though i just wanna let u know,, i dont wanna go washing car, i would love if u take my car n wash it..haha...

A touch of friendship

it's been awhile since my last blog.... i am still a lazy person like i was last time... i don't know why... i feel so bad about myself... but so far nothing really new about me... ive been wondering though will i ever gonna make it???? im currently in my college life crisis...hehehehe but i think i will cus i have the drive for it... anyways, i just lost my very good friend though we have not been talking like we used to but she still is one of my best friend... i guess ppl change when they find sth worth more like boyfriend for example but i wish i will never do that to the one i care right now... i know im nothing like that not even close... i feel like im more loyal to my friends than her nonetheless it's still ok... im just sad to see it ended up like this... although ive seen it coming but i trust her so much.. i thought she would never do that... hhhmmm looking back there is not a single thing i wanna change,, i cus i feel like i become stronger w/ all the events that has occur to me... i wish my best friend the very best... she has a lot coming on her way... b4 she eventually becomes what she wants... so long friend, we've backed a long time n hope u find what u r looking for in life, moreover i hope one day i'll meet u again i know when the day comes we r prolly old n different but i'm waiting for that day... *kisses*

cara cara menuju sukses by moi...

I wanna b successful in life, work, n everything... i think everybody in the right mind wants to b success too... tapi cara2 orang pengen sukses itu beda2, ada yg baik n pantas utk ditiru meaning that they r driven n determined, ada juga yg kotor, n lastly the ones who just lucky meaning that they r just inherit it. Me???? i'm the one that's rada2 driven n determined.... these are the 4 steps i follow in order for me to b successful n *CAUTION DO NOT ATTEMPT IT IF U DO NOT HAVE A CLEAR CONSENSUS OF THE IMPLICATION* :

1. Realize ur dream n capability. jadi intinya jangan muluk2 deh... gw siey maunya cuman pengen hidup bahagia, dapet S3, punya suami mapan, anak2 ciamik, karir memuaskan. itu gak muluk2 loh soalnya according to Bung Karno, one of the greatest men ever alive in this world, kejarlah cita2mu setinggi langit, means that kalo belum setinggi langit jangan bilang cita2/ dreams that's just norms.... n my capabilities to reach those dreams are not super but i'll try so hard n i think u can only try so much n at the end u'll find what u want. paraphrase from the bible kalo kita keep knocking on the door, pintu akan di bukakan...

2. Berdoa deh.... i grew up in a christian familly, pentacostal to b exact. nah kita orang pantekosta hidup dari iman... as cheesy as it may sound but it works , dont u see all those pendeta2 they have no jobs but they r doing find. orang pantekosta ituh diajarin utk minta semuanya ke Tuhan spy dibukakan jalan. emang siey gak smuanya dikasih worst only handful of the wishes that actually have been granted. tapi gw diajarin di skolah minggu kalo gak dikasih tandanya Tuhan punya rencana yg jauh lebih indah lagi... can u imagine better things than those i mentioned in #1???? i guess u don't cus i don't either but i'm liking it...hehehe 

3. usaha dikit2lah... b/c Tuhan gak bakal ngasih gitu ajah... if He does that means all the priests would b billionaire n Bill Gates, he must have been praying a lot...

4. just WAIT... ini yg paling susah n usually takes the longest. n in this step, ppl usually give up. emang sih susah buat sabar tapi gimana dong... our lives are not instantly given to us, our parents have to conceive us n they have to wait until exist, jadi dari awal kita udah diajar untuk nunggu... so we re too far ahead to give up in this step.

i know there are nothing extra special in those steps but it works for me... n the result well let's say vary... tapi kalo result in failure, i don't get mad cus belum rejeki n means that i need to go back to step 2... kurang kali "jampi2nya"hehehehehe.... anyways just wanna share my thoughts

-M-

Look, Listen, Observe, and finally Learn..

In order to learn one thing, i feel like i need to sacrifice a lot of me. Not only from the Education stand point but also from other aspects in life like friendships and people in general. The hardest part, for me, is to understand others. I've been trying to be nice, understanding, humble, n i must admit sometimes bitchy but in my opinion some ppl are better to be treated that way..*oopps* My behavior was mistaken a lot by others for some reasons n little that they know i don't give a damn..hehehe cus in my life i've learned not to trust a lot of ppl but ur own family n very few others, that's why i have a lot of friends but very very few bestfriends (Inta, Cuha, Monica, Danis, Saras, Annie, Wiwid). my mom actually told me that as a family we are in the same team, so we work together. if someone hurt one member of our team; then we r going to b there for each other. i first never really cared about it, i thought its just dumb, i thought friends would b there for me too. However, something happened about 5 years ago n it changes my point of few forever. Here is a little background of what happened. My dad was a successful banker n a very honest one, life was never been better. I could get pretty much what i wanted. We as a family travelled all over the world. Everybody was sucking up to us, they literately would wipe our feet if we asked them too. N then the life cycle hits, u know the one that ppl cant b on the top forever, then everybody leaves us, those ppl who we thought would have our back forever left us, even our own driver, a man who we hired to drive our cars, leaves us *thank God we have 2 drivers* duhhhh... our security guards, they r gone... everybody is trying to safe their own ass. Up to this day my family still doesn't know what is it we did that so bad. even the authority couldn't point out. well i guess it's just life cus w/o this experience i would never be so close to my family as i am now and i would still think that friends were everything. moreover, b/c of this experience i've learned that there r so many fakers in this world that have an angelic appearance n since 5 yrs ago i never really trust others cus they will leave me when they dont need me anymore. N here is what i learn: One cant say that they have a friend till sth bad unexpectedly struck cus a friend would stay during that time. trust me very few will, it's my personal xperience.. 

OOOOOO HELLL NOOOOOO!!!!

i must admit i'm a bit judgemental when it comes to new people.. i tend to judge a book by its cover sometimes... n something just bugging me so much about a person... i think "he" is sth that he's not... but i'm still trying to gather some facts cus rite now my judgement is solely based on what i've seen in pictures.. so i can really open up about what actually bugs me... i hope that my judgement is false cus it'll b sucked.. i don't wanna crush someone's hopes at all... anyways i'll keep it posted... 

SOOOO GOOD!!!!

i wasn't very happy this morning cus i couldn't finish studying for my risk management test but i think i did well on it, well at least im hoping that i did well on it. anyways, my study for this semester has been tough from the start plus i was a week late since i spent my xmast break in jakarta so all the materials had piled up once i arrived basically i had no relaxing time to recover my energy due to the long trip. also once i came to class, being a week late, i took home nothing but tons of HW and lot of catching up in term of the reading. at first i thought "hhhhhmmm it'll b easy, i could do just couple days before the exam" off course being not so prudent person like i'm that was my initial thought  and man!!!!! was i mistaken, i took my 1st risk management quiz n 1st commercial banking project and them both were crazily harder than i'd ever imagined. my miserable life did not just end there, i lost 5 days of power n couldn't get outta the house cus the road was icy, i had nothing to eat well i mean, i had no decent food to eat for 3 days b/c of that so couldn't cook, i had to live in a friend house for another 2 days cus that was the only way to get a hot water for shower since she didn't lost any power though she was nice still there is nothing like our own pad rite. after all of the catastrophe i got the power back on saturday so i could go back to my life, then i thought it was just a part of a bad weeks so i started to face this week with such a high expectation wishing that this week would be better than the two weeks that have passed. Monday started out smoothly though i was late for class but not too late then tuesday came by, i was so excited cus it was the career fair day but i got 4 assignment due thursday morning on that day and i also almost missed the career fair b/c i wasnt wearing business casual outfit that day so when i actually got there, the companies were started to wrap up and on top of that i lost my car key didn't know where it is till now. 

All of the stories i wrote on the 1st paragraph might make ppl wonder cus it has nothing to do with the title, moreover it was actually contradicted with the title. Yes the stories are all poor n from my stand point miserable but the title of the blog is not an error b/c all of the stories are actually happy ending stories if we looked a little closer. why??? b/c in all of those events i was not once missing an important task, class, even the career fair; i was not starved though i ate only crackers for 2 days, i am doing so well though i slept w/o heater for 3 days, i did a really good job on both my HW n test, and although i lost my car key; i didnt lose the key to the apartment cus they're both attached together so i could grab a spare key for the car. N just thinking of all the ending of the stories, i realized my life is so good n GOD is so good to me that HE has never let me slipped n fell to the ground, so overall everything that has happened to me is sooooo good!!!!! 

I can't even walk

i thought #1 would always b me

i thought i could b what i wanted to be

i thought i could build on lives sinking in sand

but i can't even walk w/o YOU holding my hand

i thought that i could do a lot on my own

i thought i could make it all alone

i thought of myself as a mighty bid man

but i can't even walk w/o YOU holding my hand

no, i can't even walk w/o YOU holding my hand

the mountain's too high n the valley's too wide

down on my knees, i've learned to say:

LORD i can't even walk w/o YOU holding my hand

i think that i'll make Jesus my one and my all

when i'm in trouble only HIS name i call

if i dont trust HIM, i'll be less than a man

cus i can't even walk w/o YOU holding my hand

TGIF

Hey hey hey... i cant believe that the 1st weekend of february is finally here, isn't it awesome!!!! time flies faster than i i thought... anyways i took my risk management's quiz today n boy was that sth... i mean i read the chapter but i still up to this pt have NO IDEA what the heck KLAZARDS means.... off course i skipped that question n some more..hehehe but it was the 1st quiz n the purpose is to prepare us of what 2 expect on the actual test which is on this coming wed. Risk management wasn't the only trouble i have today, i also finished my 2nd commercial banking's project n it took me 3 days to finished 4 questions.. actually the questions were not the deadly weapon; the simulation was... it was hard i mean HARD!!!!! but hey i finished it early so i guess i have reason to celebrate. taking that into account, i prolly will go with my friend i really need to go to a theater cus i feel like i havent been there in ages... the last movie i watched was the twilight... yesssss lame rite????? i plan to watch the new chris evan's movie called push but he's just not that into you is also tempting... well we'll see i can always change my mind...hehehe 

My sister wrote on my wall about 1/2 an hour ago n she said she comments on my 1st post, which make me preety pumped cus i thought it was so random n pointless but at least 1 person took her time to read it so it's cool thx sis... i also replied my sister comment saying that i have 1 more obsession n it's so ALAY benget. but i just couldnt get it outta my system. cus the song is always on my mind and in result i keep humming it. actually there is nothing embarrassing cus it's an old gospel tune but the form is in country style... but man the words are so beautiful n very touching... i'll post it after this so i could share it to everybody hoping that it could strengthen somebody's faith ,who just happen to read mine, as much as it does to me... 

MR. FREEZZZEEEE in action!!!!!!!!!

OMG i've been freezing to death for this past severl days (3days) b/c we r having a severe ice storm here in fayetteville AR n it turns everyting into ice including the trees n power cables.... so in result we have to act like we hv a built in heater inside ourbody... here are some pics i took w/ my friend to show how miserable we are..hehehe

Vietnamese new year

well i just got back from a Vietnamese NY party,  i think they called it lunar or sth.. well at 1st i thought it'll b awkward if i go considering i'm no vietnamese but it turned out well they (the vietnamese) are very nice.. i took several pictures but i think i share it later... but sth makes me kinda wonder how come si cw didnt come???? there are 2 possibilities, si cw either celebrated the party w/ pacrnya yg super biasa itu or dia takut maklum dia udah gak ada temen lagi (if u know what i mean) yah this makes me also question does dia tau org2x udah gak suka lagi sama dia???? but deep down i know she knows it, she just pretends like she doesnt know.... how sad... i hope i never ever b similar to her not only personality wise but also appearance wise b/c she is soooo super norakkkkkkkkk banggedddd...hehehehehe anyways i couldn't say a whole lot about her cus she was nice but then she shows her true color after dia dpt pcr baru... but it's ok maybe i'd act the same if i were her... u never know rite... :) anyways i just write everything down so that i can throw away my bosen feeling..hehehe 

the pics continue...

New year party @my house with my fam minus abram
@ fx after work w/ my dexter's friends
rachel freestyling n it cracks me up all the time, how awkward this pose is... :p
my 3 ipa 4 @ PS
 @ Loewy with mas Hero, Ihsan, mba Meska
@ dragonfly with the same ppl

Those are my cousins n sister (the one w/ the germany patten dress) 

Indonesia trip dec 08

Well i always spent time w/ my fam back home every year but last year was extra special cus i had my 1st intern on the bank that will be my employer in the future (AMIEN)... i was interning for Bank Indonesia therefore i thought i could share some of the pics taken:

Here are the pics during x-mast party at my place

the upleft: me n my niece Audrey 

the up right: my lil bro Abram n my niece Giselle

the bottom right: my niece Rachel at my house. we dress her up like pingkan mambo..hehehe as u prolly can tell she loves the camera. 

can it b???

i've been wondering for about 15min now, which is actually such a short amount of time to wonder for such a simple thing. however, this thought of mine actually forces me to blog (lebay bgt) :). well first of all i'm new to all of these blogging stuff mainly cus i really don't like to write plus i still keep a diary near by just in case i wanna write sth, so pls bear w/ me if there is a human being actually reading this. ok let's talk with the thought that has run thru my mind and taking my 15 min. i wonder can somebody like someone, they dont even know, heck they've never even met???? well if i put like on that case the answer would b absolutely YES, but what if i put like as in more than a crush but a lil less than love,, can it happen that way???? idk but what i know now i feel more than a crush to someone i have never met in my entire 23 yrs of life and this has been going on for almost a year.. i 1st noticed him while i looked thru a friend of mine pics on fb, n my initial reaction was "ooo ok move on" ( ps: he's not "that" cute nor attractive) n so i looked other pics, but little that i know my friend was one of his close friends so i stumbled to a lot of his pics n still i felt normal. the next day i checked my fb n the 1st thing i did was looked thru my friend pics again, the friend whose pics i just saw the nite before!!!!! n i did it over n over again making me more like a stalker but don't be scared I AM NOT A STALKER!!!! then after keep (yes it's present cus now i'm still looking at the pic) looking the same pics for a week i knew rite at that moment i like the guy... what drives me to like him??? his knowledge, he is very smart.. he is working on his MBA at one of the top school in the world at the same time he's also trying to pursue a law degree also at 1 of the top private school. well if i said his last name all indonesians would know.. he is from a wealthy family but that doesn't impress me cus i have a lot of prejudices regarding indo wealthy family (no offense to anybody) idk it's not out of jealousy but it's from personal experience. anyway anybody who read this blog must ask why i never ask my friend to introduce me to him or why dont i ask my friend about him.. well a lot of my close friends ask the same thing but the thing is i dont know that friend close enough to ask for sth like that... so i must suck it up myself,, i like to think about this situation as my single life crisis.. though i haven't been single for so long but i always got a boyfriend who is completely the opposite of my criteria... i know that we cant stick to our criteria so much cus there is no such thing like perfect but i want at least in the same path... anyways i guess i should stop talking about this before i scare anybody of :) so back to my question can it be????